Tagged: Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny

Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny 3: Thundah Down Undah

Flash Fiction Month 2019, Day 30

A hyperlinked version of this story is available here.

1

You are Gallopy Buzzbrain – a unicorn with a chainsaw for a horn – and you have been selected for the most brutal arena deathmatch in the whole southern hemisphere.

An air-horn blares. The Chunder Games are about to begin.

“I can get you out of here,” says the combat wombat in the cell next to yours, “but you have to do exactly what I say.”

Do that: 2

Murder him: 3


2

“When the gates open, let me ride you.”

The gates open.

Okay: 6

Nope! 5


3

You jam your horn through the cage bars and revel in the meat-splatter.

“DISQUALIFIED!!!” bellows the announcer.

Aww.

Mope in your pen: 4

Arena violence: 5

4

You sit out the deathmatch and have no fun at all.

~END~
Continue reading

Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny – Physical Edition

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if fifty copies of a book about unicorns with chainsaws for horns had just been dumped on a doorstep somewhere in Hampshire.

~Obi-Wan Kenobi (who is fictional, and therefore can’t sue me for making up quotes)

Yep, that’s right. This is a thing that exists now. It has been made and cannot be unmade. Continue reading

Blacklight 1995 and Unicorn Deathmatch Shortlisted for Wonderbox Digital Fiction Competition

I’ve been pretty heavily focused on getting Ten Little Astronauts ready for publication recently, which might be why I never noticed that two of my interactive fiction games were on the People’s Choice shortlist for Wonderbox’s Opening Up Digital Fiction Competition.

You can play either one by clicking its icon above.

I sent in a whole bunch of games back when the competition was open for submissions, but wasn’t particularly confident in any of them making the cut. To see two in there is a real surprise, especially since these two in particular are very different in tone.

Because I discovered this pretty late on, not only has voting now closed but the winners have already been announced! Sadly neither of my games are amongst them, but there was some pretty serious competition: the winners look absolutely top notch, and I encourage you to check them out.

This is hardly the first time something I’ve worked on has been up for a prize, but it is the first time it’s happened specifically for an interactive piece that wasn’t a team project. It just goes to show that it’s usually worth taking a chance on these things even if you’re not sure what will come of it. Also, do keep an eye on Wonderbox specifically: the competition is annual so if you’d like to take a shot at it yourself then you’ll have a chance next year!

Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny 2: Aquatic Boogaloo

Flash Fiction Month 2018, Day 31

Challenge #14: Write a story that includes a criminal character and is not set on dry land. It may be a 369er, an epistolary narrative, or a work of interactive fiction.

A hyperlinked version of this story is available here.

1

You are Wishes O’Houlihan, top agent of the International Leprechaun Police. Riding atop your mighty steed – a unicorn with a chainsaw for a horn – you are unstoppable.

Your mission is to take down Captain Blokebeard, the most notorious pirate of the North Specific.

…but how?

Parachute in! 2

Speedboat chase! 3

Launch yourself from a cannon! 4 Continue reading

Places to Meet Me in June 2018

Last week I was at Feral Vector for a full three days during which I navigated the grim future of the Business Wasteland (during one of the events), became a superpowered horticultural student of Jeff Goldblum (during another of the events) and was forced to repeatedly fend off some uncharacteristically friendly moles (for real – it was super weird).

That was a great opportunity to meet some of the people I largely know from online, but if you’re more local then you might like to check out these other events closer to home:


DIY Southampton: TODAY! (9/6/18)

This was probably the highlight of the things I went to last year, and it’s happening again! For the seventh time. (Clearly I was kind of late to jump on this particular bandwagon.) What makes this one so great is that it combines tables of work by local artists, authors and artisans with a huge range of performances spread across two stages. I’ll be on the cafe stage myself at 16:50 for a live reading of Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny. The event as a whole will be running 13:00-20:00 at Planet Sounds, Southampton. Continue reading

We All Saw It Coming Launch – April 3rd at The Railway

The launch event for We All Saw It Coming will be at The Railway Inn, 7:30pm on the 3rd of April. The Railway is a great venue – I’m there at least once a month since they host the Poetry Platform open mic – and if you fancy catching some excellent stories, music and/or poems then you can stick around afterwards for that very event (starting at 9pm, with sign-up for slots in the half hour beforehand).

If you’d like to come along, you can RSVP and get updates through this Facebook event, or you can just show up on the night. I’ll be bringing copies of all my books, though probably not a huge number of each: I’ve written enough by this point that it’s getting difficult to cart everything to events. If you’d like me to sign something, you might be better off getting hold of it beforehand and bringing it with you to avoid disappointment. I’ve run out before! Continue reading