Tagged: tech support

High Maintenance

Flash Fiction Month 2019, Day 24

Doctor Hewlett checked the next two names on her schedule: Nic Panaso and Mark Lex. She called them in.

“So,” she began. “Tell me a little about your relationship: how did you two meet?”

“Well,” said Nic. “It was at that electronics superstore—the one just outside of town. We were at the same checkout, and we just sort of clicked. It was like we were made for each other, you know? Like we were meant to be together.”

“It’s common to feel that something’s missing once that initial excitement wears off, but you must still see something in each other.”

“Well, yes! We still connect on so many levels: USB, Bluetooth, even over our home network. But—”

Doctor Hewlett put up a hand. “I’m quite conscious that I haven’t heard a word from Mark yet.” She turned to him. “Is there anything you’d like to say?”

Mark leaned forward significantly. “Black ink low.” Continue reading

Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018

Every now and again, I have trouble coaxing my computer and the wireless router into talking to each other. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re at opposite ends of the house, maybe it’s interference from a nearby airport, maybe the two machines just aren’t on good terms. Perhaps the dinosaurs that formed the oil that became their plastic shells were neighbours who didn’t get along. Can you imagine that? Like, one of them was super neat and fussy, and the other one was super chill but kept forgetting to take his patio umbrella in when it got windy and the fussy one would always find it rolling around his garden messing up the petunias. That would make a great sitcom, but I digress.

The point is, once in a while my WiFi stops working, and every time it does I find myself struggling to get it back up and running. At a certain point it feels as though the smart thing to do would be to give up and work on something that doesn’t demand an internet connection, but even things that don’t demand that seem to at least benefit from it considerably. That’s why I made this:

Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018

That’s right! Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018 offers you an interactive glance at my own creative process. Marvel at the captivating range of options available to you. Be astounded by the faithfulness of the intricately crafted simulation. Ponder whether the author might not truly be the victim of an eons-long spat between comically mismatched saurian neighbours raging on through the ages.

Also, try turning it off and on again. And again and again and again…

That’s the Third One This Week!

Flash Fiction Month 2014, Day 20

“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

There was a loud crash and a shower of fairy dust. The face in the mirror flickered briefly, a look of horror upon it, before being replaced by solid blue. The message, “Unhandled exception. Contact your Fairy Godmother or technical support group for further assistance,” appeared in the extreme top left corner.

“Oh, bloody hell!” snapped Medusa, stamping her foot. “Now how am I supposed to find out who’s the fairest of them all?”


If you’ve enjoyed this story, you can find my work from Flash Fiction Month 2012 and 2013 collected in OCR is Not the Only Font and Red Herring respectively.