Tagged: comedy

Flash Fiction Day 2019

Stories written for Flash Fiction Day 2018: I’ll be updating this post throughout the day if you want to keep up. If you’d like to get involved with this event yourself, you can sign up here! As long as it’s still June 15th in your time zone, it’s not too late!


23:29

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“Stop evildoer!” cried Sharkman, as his amazing shark tail propelled him swiftly after the ne’er-do-well’s jet-ski.

“No thanks,” said the evildoer, doing an epic jump over a really big wave before skidding to a halt on the beach. “You can’t follow me on land.”

“Mhhhhhh hmmmmmph faaaaaah!” cried a voice(?) from nearby.

The villain turned. There stood a figure with the head of a shark and the body of a man. He struck a heroic pose, his face set in an expression of…well, it was a shark face so it wasn’t particularly expressive.

“What?”

“Mhhhhh hmmmmmmph faaaaah!” the figure repeated.

“He says ‘Not so fast!’” explained yet another newcomer. “For while Sharkman fights crime at sea, Manshark fights it on the land!”

“And who are you?” the criminal demanded.

“I’m Mansharkman. My superpower is the ability to interpret Manshark.”

“And here’s his sharky sidekick!” cried Sharkman, holding aloft a flapping sharky form. “Mansharkmanshark!”

“Okay, yeah, no.” The criminal threw up his hands. “This is clearly one of those stories that just degenerates into recursive nonsense, and I’d rather give myself up than have to sit through it.”

“Awww,” harrumphed Mansharkmansharksharkmanmanmansharkmansharksharkmanman. “You’re no fun!”

23:54

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Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny – Physical Edition

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if fifty copies of a book about unicorns with chainsaws for horns had just been dumped on a doorstep somewhere in Hampshire.

~Obi-Wan Kenobi (who is fictional, and therefore can’t sue me for making up quotes)

Yep, that’s right. This is a thing that exists now. It has been made and cannot be unmade. Continue reading

OLYMPIA TV Pilot Now on IndieGoGo

If you’re into comedy, drama, comedy-drama and/or Greek mythology, I highly recommend taking a look at OLYMPIA, which is funding on IndieGoGo right now:

I actually co-wrote an episode for this series a while back, but the project has grown in scope pretty substantially since then. I’m not sure any of my contributions will make it into its current incarnation (and in any case it wasn’t the pilot that I had a hand in) so I feel sufficiently distant from this to say that it looks like a very impressive endeavour that deserves your support if you can spare it.

Greek gods and selfies: it’s a winning combination!

OLYMPIA has just launched, so if you want to see it succeed then now’s the time to make that happen. You can be the hipster who knew about it before it was cool.

The project has a really solid team behind it, and a big part of the reason they’re looking for funding is so that they can go beyond the standard portfolio project and actually pay the people who are doing all the work, which is disappointingly rare these days. I personally can vouch for Claire Rose (who you may have seen on Yesterday’s Nazi Murder Mysteries) and Alex Carter (who filmed and edited one of my own videos). Other names are new to me, but their previous credits include titles such as Avengers: Age of Ultron, which I feel is kind of a big deal.

Long story short, I’ve chipped in for this and it would be just fantastic if you felt like helping it along too.

Flappy Bard

Here’s my first HTML5 game – Flappy Bard! You might be wondering why you’re hearing about this one after April 1st’s Cookie Cracker. Well, there are two reasons:

  1. I made Flappy Bard as a birthday present for my sister and wanted her to have a chance to give it a go before it went out to the general public.
  2. I thought that Cookie Cracker would make a better April Fool’s joke if people weren’t already aware that I could create this sort of thing.

Flappy Bard is essentially a clone of the classic Flappy Bird, but with some small changes to the way in which obstacles are spawned and an overall Shakespearian theme. Continue reading

Win a Copy of Ten Little Astronauts with Glarnies, Green Berets & Goons

If you don’t yet have a copy of Ten Little Astronauts, you might be interested in this competition by Julie Warren, author of Glarnies, Green Berets & Goons: The Life and Legacy of Larry Stephens.

The book tells the story of a little-known figure, Larry Stephens, who nonetheless had a significant impact on British comedy. Like Ten Little Astronauts, it’s already been successfully funded at Unbound, but unlike Ten Little Astronauts it’s not yet in print, so there’s still time to get your name in the back as a patron.

The competition – closing on March 18th – is only open to supporters of Glarnies, Green Berets & Goons and involves unscrambling the annagramatised names of six sitcom characters. If you manage that, you’ll be in with a chance to win a paperback copy of Ten Little Astronauts for your very own!

You can find all the details of the competition here – and good luck!

Exponential Adventure at EGX Rezzed

Good news for fans of the Dungeon Lord: Girth Loinhammer’s Most Exponential Adventure will be making an appearance at EGX Rezzed on the 4th of April!

More specifically, a live reading of Girth Loinhammer’s Most Exponential Adventure will be taking place as part of the brand new EGX Rezzed Fringe Theatre. For anybody unfamiliar with the story, it’s a massively interactive fantasy parody that plays out sort of like a Fighting Fantasy gamebook, but typically involves much, much more booze. I’ll read a chunk out loud (probably with funny voices – it gets hard to tell who’s who otherwise), announce the options available to the audience, and then whichever one gets the loudest cheer decides how the story will continue.

This is essentially what I’ve been doing at open mics for the past couple of years, but instead of taking place in a dingy pub somewhere, it’ll be at London’s largest games event.

If you’d like to come and get involved, Exponential Adventure will be running Thursday 4th of April at 2pm, and go on for about 45 minutes. This should allow time for at least three readings, but could stretch to as many as four or five depending on how things go on the day. We’ll be on the ground floor of the Tobacco Dock, which is probably the second most dungeon-y venue I’ve ever had for this.

Tickets are very reasonably priced for an event of this size. If you’re already near London, twenty quid gets you in all day Thursday which will let you see my show and still have a go at plenty of games. If you’re coming from farther afield, a Super Pass for the full three days is just £44.

Also, not to pile on the pressure or anything, but if nobody turns up then I will literally be standing on stage doing nothing because interactive fiction does not work without an audience. So please do share this around!

Cragne Manor

Not so long ago, I contributed to Cragne Manor, a massive (80+ authors) interactive fiction project created as a tribute to Anchorhead. The game is now finished, and you can play it in your browser!

This is quite a different sort of game to the things I’ve made with Twine. It’s a parser-based text adventure, meaning that instead of simply clicking links you must control it by typing things like “go north,” “take key,” and “hit shoggoth with inflatable novelty hammer.” I’ve got no idea if that last one is ever an option in the game. I’ve got no idea what’s in the game at all beyond the one room I designed, to be honest. It might be terrible! The opening text suggests that it is (and that that’s part of the fun).

It also offers quite a list of objectionable content that appears in the game, so maybe not one for the squeamish. It is cosmic horror after all!

Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018 Simulator 2019

One year ago today I released Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018. But as we all know, technology moves along quickly and the innovations of yesteryear are soon left behind.

That’s why I’ve produced a brand new work of bold, hyper-realistic interactive fiction: Damon L. Wakes’ WiFi Simulator 2018 Simulator 2019. All the fun of WiFi Simulator 2018, updated and improved for 2019. Just look at this flowchart!

I hope you enjoy playing the game as much as I enjoyed making it. Which is very likely because to be honest it was a bit of a chore.

Project Pandora 3

You might be wondering how there can be a Project Pandora 3 given how Project Pandora 2 ended. You might also be wondering what Project Pandora even is, and if that’s the case then I recommend starting with the first one.

Project Pandora 3

That said, familiarity with the series isn’t essential and this wouldn’t be a terrible place to jump in (especially compared to Project Pandora 2, which will not even function if you haven’t played the original). My Project titles in general have always been about exploring one particular (usually fairly meta) game mechanic and how the player interacts with it, and developing an epic multi-game storyline isn’t really a big part of that.

Basically, have a quick go at the first two beforehand if you want the full experience, but don’t be afraid to get stuck in with Project Pandora 3 if you just fancy playing something vaguely sinister.

Happy Halloween!

Blacklight 1995 and Unicorn Deathmatch Shortlisted for Wonderbox Digital Fiction Competition

I’ve been pretty heavily focused on getting Ten Little Astronauts ready for publication recently, which might be why I never noticed that two of my interactive fiction games were on the People’s Choice shortlist for Wonderbox’s Opening Up Digital Fiction Competition.

You can play either one by clicking its icon above.

I sent in a whole bunch of games back when the competition was open for submissions, but wasn’t particularly confident in any of them making the cut. To see two in there is a real surprise, especially since these two in particular are very different in tone.

Because I discovered this pretty late on, not only has voting now closed but the winners have already been announced! Sadly neither of my games are amongst them, but there was some pretty serious competition: the winners look absolutely top notch, and I encourage you to check them out.

This is hardly the first time something I’ve worked on has been up for a prize, but it is the first time it’s happened specifically for an interactive piece that wasn’t a team project. It just goes to show that it’s usually worth taking a chance on these things even if you’re not sure what will come of it. Also, do keep an eye on Wonderbox specifically: the competition is annual so if you’d like to take a shot at it yourself then you’ll have a chance next year!