Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny – Physical Edition

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if fifty copies of a book about unicorns with chainsaws for horns had just been dumped on a doorstep somewhere in Hampshire.

~Obi-Wan Kenobi (who is fictional, and therefore can’t sue me for making up quotes)

Yep, that’s right. This is a thing that exists now. It has been made and cannot be unmade.

The reasoning behind this is that I’ve ended up doing live versions of Ultraviolent Unicorn Deathmatch of Destiny on stage at rather a lot of events, and neither the online version nor the one printed in We All Saw It Coming are proving ideal for reading when out and about. Getting at the online one from my phone can be hit-and-miss (especially in places with poor signal, which is a problem given that one of my favourite events takes place in an underground vault), and it’s not always easy to tap the links. The paper one within We All Saw It Coming is significantly more foolproof, but it’s very easy to overshoot the beginning or end and then end up frantically flipping pages to get back to the story.

That’s where this standalone edition comes in. It’s a cute little A6 booklet with the passage numbers listed in the corner of every page. Very easy to flip through, and as an added bonus there’s some eye-candy that isn’t really practical in a print-on-demand paperback. I photoshopped a lot of chainsaws onto a lot of horses for this one.

Unfortunately, because the only copies in existence are in that cardboard box, I’m not currently selling these online. However, you can see a full online preview of the book right here, and if you can find me at an event, I’ll be offering copies for just £2.

Your next chance is DIY Southampton 9 on June 8th, where I’ll also be performing at 1:50pm. After that, the Hampshire Writers’ Society Gala Evening on June 11th. And after that, basically any open mics where I decide to bring some – it’s all good!


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