I, Reefer

Flash Fiction Month 2017, Day 27

Challenge #1: Write a 369er set in cloudcuckooland in which the protagonist is the only sane character.

“Moo,” said Snarf Garfunkel

“Moo,” said Mews Willis.

“Moo,” said Melissa McKitty.

“Is there, like, something… up… with our cats?” asked Farmer Jones.

“I think… Um, I think… I think… Um…” Farmer Bishop squinted at the field of large, black and white cats grazing among the fronds of pink, alien foliage rippling in the breeze. “They seem fine,” she continued at last.

“THOSE ARE COWS, YOU IDIOT,” yelled Olivia.

***

“Gentlemen.” Junior Vice-Badass Chad Buckley addressed the Committee for the Neatification of Fiscal Awesomeness. “A new planet calls for a new currency. Or something.”

“How about…” Spreadsheet Glaminator Richard Smith tented his fingers. “We used to put money into machines to get coffee. How about we put coffee into money… to get machines?”

Buckley did that finger-snap-pointing thing thing. “I love it!”

“YOUR ECONOMY IS TANKING RAPIDLY,” yelled Olivia.

***

“Okay,” began Lead Science-Maker-Happener Lauren Harper. “I’ve confirmed the strange yelling noises are emanating from Gasulon VII itself, but it’s safe to ignore them.”

“MY NAME IS OLIVIA, AND IT’S REALLY NOT.”

“And the reason the atmosphere is so good is… it’s just really good. Science over!”

“IT’S ACTUALLY BECAUSE I’M 47% THC.”

“Anybody got any Doritos? I’m super hungry for some reason.”

“THAT WOULD ALSO BE THE THC.”

 

If you’ve enjoyed this story, you can find my work from previous Flash Fiction Months collected in these books:

OCR is Not the Only Font Cover REDESIGN (Barbecued Iguana)Red Herring Cover (Barbecued Iguana design)Bionic Punchline eBook CoverOsiris Likes This Cover

Click any cover to find that book in your choice of format.

You might also be interested in my sci-fi murder mystery novella, Ten Little Astronauts, which is currently crowdfunding at Unbound. Most pledge levels include all the books shown above, and all will include your name in the back of Ten Little Astronauts itself as a patron of my work.

Support it here!

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