Little Red and the Three Bunkers

Flash Fiction Month 2017, Day 19

Once upon a time there was a terrible dragon, which crawled along the ground on endless feet. The dragon was an ancient beast—forged long before Little Red was born—and only Grandmama was old enough to remember it. But Little Red had heard stories, and so when she saw the dragon coming she rolled her bike into a wooden bunker nearby and waited for it to pass.

But the dragon saw her inside with eyes of infra-red, and so it spoke: “Little Red, Little Red, let me come in.”

“Not by the spikes on your tinny-tin-tin!”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your fort in!”

The dragon breathed out a huge gout of fire that burned the wooden bunker to ash, but Little Red was clever, and so in the commotion she escaped and rode away across the wasteland to a bunker of steel.

Here too, the dragon saw her, and here too it spoke: “Little Red, Little Red, let me come in.”

“Not by the spikes on your tinny-tin-tin!”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your fort in!”

The dragon breathed out a deafening hail of lead that riddled the steel bunker with holes, but Little Red was quick, and so before the dragon could take another breath she rode away across the wasteland to a bunker of reinforced concrete.

Yet even here the dragon saw her, and even here it spoke: “Little Red, Little Red, let me come in.”

“Not by the spikes on your tinny-tin-tin!”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your fort in!”

The dragon breathed out an ATU-124 guided missile that blew the concrete bunker to smithereens, but Little Red was surprisingly durable for someone so little and so she rode away across the wasteland once again.

This time, however, there were no more bunkers in which to hide.

“Little Red, Little Red,” growled the dragon, trundling behind. “Let me catch up…”

But Little Red didn’t say anything. Instead, she just kept her bike pointed at Billy Goats’ Bridge. She watched the sun on the horizon and the needle on the fuel gauge: both were getting rather low.

At last, Little Red reached the bridge. She stepped off her bike and began to wheel it across, because Grandmama was also old enough to remember the troll that lived there, buried in the earth.”

“Who’s that rolling over my bridge?” demanded the troll. “Who dares come this way?”

“It’s me, Little Red. I’m only small, but there’s something bigger coming.”

“Hm,” said the troll. “Yes, you do sound rather small. And there’s a ‘little’ right in your name. But I’ve been here a very long time, and I’m not sure I want to wait for something bigger.”

“That’s alright,” said Little Red, wheeling the bike off the bridge just as fast as she could. “It’s here now.”

“Little Red, Little Red,” said the dragon, as it rumbled across the bridge. “Let me—”

“BEEBEEBEEP!!!” shouted the troll, and it exploded.

And the moral of the story is…look, don’t worry about the moral just now. There’s a super cool troll explosion that looks really rad. It makes a proper mushroom cloud of dragon bits, and Little Red rides away from it like a total badass. She doesn’t even look back. She just puts on some shades while blasting across the wasteland into the sunset. They’re actual Ray-Bans and everything. Seriously, it’s so awesome! Who cares about a moral at a time like this?

The End.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, you can find my work from previous Flash Fiction Months collected in these books:

OCR is Not the Only Font Cover REDESIGN (Barbecued Iguana)Red Herring Cover (Barbecued Iguana design)Bionic Punchline eBook CoverOsiris Likes This Cover

Click any cover to find that book in your choice of format.

You might also be interested in my sci-fi murder mystery novella, Ten Little Astronauts, which is currently crowdfunding at Unbound. Most pledge levels include all the books shown above, and all will include your name in the back of Ten Little Astronauts itself as a patron of my work.

Support it here!

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