Shut Up, It’s Educational

Flash Fiction Month 2016, Day 14

“Keep scraping, Larry, DEAR GOD KEEP SCRAPING!!!”

With only two minutes to go until the nine o’clock slot, and only static to fill it, things were tense over at Channel 5.

“The barrel’s empty, Greg!” whined Larry. “It’s completely empty.”

“Just keep going! We need something! Anything!”

“Uhh…” Larry struck…not gold, but certainly something. “Benefits: Too Fat to Work!

“It’s been done! Keep scraping!”

“Okay! Okay!” Larry dug his teaspoon into the damp wooden boards at the bottom. “I think I’m hitting floor here…”


“Got it!” Larry held up the faintest sliver of an idea. “Great Big Benefits Wedding!

“Also been done!”

“I am definitely through the floor tiles here, Greg. I just want you to be aware of that.”

“It’s fine. I’ll take the heat for it. What matters is, are you getting anything?”

Benefit Britain: Me and My Fourteen Kids.

“We’ve had that back-to-back for a week! Scrape harder!”

“I’ve hit the foundations. Pass me that jackhammer!”

“Forty seconds left. Make it quick!”

Benefits and Bypasses. Is that any good?”

“I’ll tell you if you’ve got something. Keep going!”

Twelve Years Old and On Benefits.

“Thirty seconds.”

Benefits and Bypasses.

“Twenty-two seconds.”

Benefits: Dogs on the Dole.

“Fifteen seconds!!!”

“Okay! There’s…oh my.”

“What is it? Let me see!”

“Can we…can we use this?”

Greg checked his watch.

“Six seconds. No time for anything else.”

Next on Channel 5: “Moles on the Dole: Inside the Secret Benefits Fortress of the Mole People.”

If you’ve enjoyed this story, you can find my work from previous Flash Fiction Months collected in these books:

OCR is Not the Only Font Cover REDESIGN (Barbecued Iguana)Red Herring Cover (Barbecued Iguana design)Bionic Punchline eBook CoverOsiris Likes This Cover

Click any cover to find that book in your choice of format.

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