Celebricide

Flash Fiction Month 2016, Day 11

Challenge #5: Write a Mystery in the form of a 369er. The three sections must be written in first, second and third person respectively.

It took you a long time to realise that this was what you wanted. That this—lead pipes, poison, torsos in the billiards room—was what you needed in your life. But having started, having slithered down that slippery slope, you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a thrill, finding yourself so caught in the limelight, so much the centre of attention, when nobody even knows your name.

***

These cases are unlike any that have come before. There are suspects—an understudy here, a supporting actor there—but all have alibis. Whoever did this is good: they only missed one thing. I always get my man, even if it’s not me who gets him.

I dial the number. It rings just once. “I’ve got a job for you. Interested?”

A laugh: “I’ve never turned one down before.”

***

“Alright!” shouts Nicolas Cage, leaping into the ring of robed figures. “Let’s see who you really are!”

One by one, the circle obliges.

“No…” breathes Nic. “This can’t be!”

“Oh, but it is!” says Kevin Sorbo.

“With no more A-list celebrities,” explains Hilary Swank, “it’ll be our turn to shine.”

The circle of downtrodden actors begins to close in.

“Aaaaah!” screams Nicolas Cage. “Not the ‘B’s!!! Not the ‘B’s!!!”

If you’ve enjoyed this story, you can find my work from previous Flash Fiction Months collected in these books:

OCR is Not the Only Font Cover REDESIGN (Barbecued Iguana)Red Herring Cover (Barbecued Iguana design)Bionic Punchline eBook CoverOsiris Likes This Cover

Click any cover to find that book in your choice of format.

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